You wrote a great email. The offer is solid, the design looks clean, and the copy flows. Then you send it out and your open rate is 18%. Again.
The problem isn’t the email. It’s the 6-8 words your subscriber sees before they decide whether to click or scroll past. Here’s how to fix them.
The 5-second test
Read your subject line out loud. Then ask yourself:
- Would I open this if it came from a brand I kinda like?
- Does it promise something specific?
- Does it create a tiny bit of tension or curiosity?
If you can’t answer yes to at least two of those, rewrite it.
What actually works
Specificity beats cleverness every time.
Bad: “Big news inside”
Good: “Your 20% code expires at midnight”
Bad: “Spring collection drop”
Good: “The linen blazer everyone asked about is finally here”
Bad: “We miss you”
Good: “We saved your cart (and added a discount)”
Notice the pattern: the good subject lines name the thing. The bad ones make people guess.
Three formulas you can use this week
The deadline formula
“[Thing] ends [time]”
Examples: Free shipping ends Friday / Early bird pricing closes tonight / Last chance for the bundle
The specific outcome formula
“How to [get specific result] without [annoying thing]”
Examples: How to double your open rate without writing more emails / How to restock without overordering
The curiosity gap formula
“The [category] trick [specific audience] already know about”
Examples: The pricing trick Shopify store owners already know about / The email timing trick your competitors are already using
Words that tank your open rate
These trigger spam filters or just feel generic:
– Free (without context)
– Hurry
– Limited time (without saying what the limit is)
– Newsletter
– Update
– % off (without the product name)
Replace each one with something specific about what’s actually inside the email.
One more thing
Your preview text matters as much as your subject line. That 40-90 character snippet next to (or below) your subject line in the inbox is prime real estate.
Don’t waste it on “View this email in your browser.” Use it to extend your subject line or add a second hook.
Subject: “The linen blazer everyone asked about is finally here”
Preview: “In three colours. You’re going to want the sage.”
Subject: “Your 20% code expires at midnight”
Preview: “Here’s what to spend it on (hint: start with bestsellers)”
Set your preview text in your email platform’s subject line settings. Most tools let you customise it per send.
Quick checklist
– [ ] Subject line passes the 5-second test (specific + curiosity or deadline)
– [ ] No generic filler words
– [ ] Preview text extends the subject line instead of repeating it
– [ ] You’d actually open this email yourself
Write the subject line before you write the email. Seriously. It forces you to know what the point is, and the email gets better because of it.
—
Want more like this? Join MOKU CLUB for free. Weekly resources, early access to new guides, and occasional templates you can actually use. Join below.
